You deserve to be safe. Help is closer than you think.
Free, confidential help for anyone experiencing abuse — in every state. Pick your state below to find your local hotline, shelters near you, legal help, and ways to keep a new address private. No account, no sign-up, nothing you type here is stored.
National Domestic Violence Hotline — free, confidential, 24/7
Advocates can safety-plan with you, find local shelter, and connect you to help in your state — in English, Spanish, and 200+ languages through interpreters.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If this device may be monitored, use a phone or computer your abuser has never had access to — a library, a friend, a work device.
Find help in your state
Every state has its own hotline, its own word for a protective order, and its own program for keeping your new address confidential. Start here.
Nothing you type is stored or sent anywhere. Shelter search opens DomesticShelters.org — the national shelter database — in a new tab.
What do you need right now?
You don’t have to read everything. Start with the one that sounds like your situation.
Making a safety plan
A safety plan is simply thinking through, ahead of time, what you would do in the moments that matter. Advocates at the Hotline (1-800-799-7233) will build one with you, personalized — this checklist is a starting point, not a substitute.
If things escalate at home
- Know which rooms have an exit and no weapons — move toward those rooms if an argument starts
- Pick a safe place you can go at any hour: a neighbor, a 24-hour business, a police or fire station
- Agree on a code word with your children or a trusted person that means “call 911”
- Keep your phone charged and on you; keep some cash where you can grab it
- Park so you can leave quickly — backed in, keys in the same place every time
- Tell one person you trust what is happening, even if you’re not ready to leave
A go-bag, gathered quietly
- IDs and documents — or photos of them stored with a trusted personDriver’s license, Social Security cards, birth certificates, insurance cards, immigration papers
- Cash, a spare card, and any medication for you and your kids
- Phone charger, spare keys for car and home
- Change of clothes for you and each child; a comfort item for each child
- Important papersProtective order, custody papers, lease, pay stubs, bank statements
- Keep the bag with a friend, at work, or in your car — somewhere your abuser won’t find it
Is your phone, car, or address giving you away?
Technology is one of the most common ways an abuser keeps control after someone leaves. Work through this list from a device that feels safe — and read the warning first.
Go slowly. Suddenly turning off location sharing or deleting apps can alert an abuser who is watching. If you can, talk to a Hotline advocate (1-800-799-7233) before making big changes, and consider a cheap prepaid phone your abuser doesn’t know about for your most sensitive plans.
Location & tracking checks
- Location sharingiPhone: Settings → Privacy → Location Services → Share My Location. Also check Find My, Google Maps sharing, and Life360.
- Unknown trackersiPhone alerts you about unknown AirTags automatically; Android users can run a manual scan in Settings → Safety & emergency → Unknown tracker alerts. Check bags, coat pockets, and inside the car.
- Your carBuilt-in apps (OnStar, FordPass, Toyota, Tesla and similar) may share the car’s location with anyone on the account. So can a hidden GPS tracker or OBD plug — a mechanic or dealer can sweep for one.
- Shared accountsA shared Apple ID or Google account can expose your photos, messages, backups, and location. When it’s safe, set up your own account on your own device.
- Stalkerware signsBattery draining fast, the phone running hot, or your abuser knowing things only your phone could tell them. A factory reset from a safe device — or a new phone — is the surest fix.
- Kids’ devices & smart home techTablets, game consoles, doorbell cameras, and smart speakers on shared accounts can all reveal where you are.
Your address on the internet
- Search your own name + cityPeople-search sites like Spokeo, Whitepages, FastPeopleSearch, PeopleFinders, and BeenVerified publish home addresses for free. A new address can appear within weeks of a move.
- Opt out of each siteEvery site has an opt-out page, usually buried. Work from a safe device and a new email address your abuser doesn’t know. Re-check every few months — listings come back.
- Enroll in your state’s address confidentiality programMost states run one — it gives you a legal substitute mailing address and keeps your real one out of public records. Pick your state above to see yours.
- Mind the everyday leaksVoter registration, property records, school directories, package deliveries, and “just moved” social posts are the most common ways a new address surfaces.
- Use a P.O. Box or mailing service for everything you canBanks, subscriptions, kids’ activities — and never use your new street address as the return address on mail to your abuser.
If you’re worried about someone you know
Believe them, and say so. “I believe you, it’s not your fault, and you don’t deserve this” matters more than any advice. Most people who are being abused are asked many times — or never — before someone simply believes them.
Don’t pressure them to leave. Leaving is the most dangerous time, and it often takes several attempts. Pressure can push someone away from the one person they’ve told. Ask what would help, keep checking in, and stay in their corner for as long as it takes.
Share resources safely. Don’t text or email links if their phone might be monitored — tell them the number instead: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. You can call the Hotline yourself, too — advocates coach friends and family members every day.
Practical help counts. Offer a spare room, a ride, a safe mailing address, help watching the kids, or a place to keep a go-bag. If you ever witness violence in progress, call 911 rather than stepping in yourself.
After you’ve left: rebuilding
Money basics
- Open a bank account at a new bank, in your name only, with paperless statements to a new email
- Call 2-1-1 for local help with rent deposits, utilities, food, and childcare — it’s free and confidential
- Check your credit free at AnnualCreditReport.com and consider a credit freeze with all three bureaus if your abuser has your Social Security number
- Ask a local program about emergency funds, transitional housing, and job programs — most coalitions in your state run them
Keeping your new life private
- Enroll in your state’s address confidentiality program — find it in the state picker above
- Remove your new address from people-search sites, and re-check quarterly
- New passwords and two-factor authentication on email, banking, and social accounts — from a safe device
- Ask your children’s school and your doctor’s office, in writing, not to release your address or records
Browse help by state
All 50 states, Washington DC, and Puerto Rico. Selecting a state shows its statewide hotline, its state coalition, what its protective order is called, and whether it offers an address confidentiality program.